Talk:Bobby Henderson II
Comment #1:
One of the things I noticed immediately, and appreciated, was your authenticity in the evaluation of your Facebook profile. I felt that you portrayed who you really were and let the reader into your head as you went through this process. Because you did this, I think it gives the reader an even better idea of how you think about your Facebook. The tone you set gives me the idea that you use Facebook in a way that keeps you "in the norm" and that you care about your professional image but beyond that, you are not too concerned with your online image. You did a good job of focusing on whether your Facebook you was the "real you" or not and recognized that it is difficult to tell. I liked the structure of your writing, starting with the comparison of you and your Facebook self let the reader know exactly what your plan was in evaluating the two. Going into details about different aspects of your life/profile was a great way to give me a "screenshot" of what is important to you and what can be found on your Facebook. And then towards the bottom of your post, going back to the question of whether it was the "real you" or not was a great way to tie everything in.
Through your writing, it seems that your ethical relationship with Facebook seems to be very integrated. The reason I saw this, even though you did not specifically mention it, is that your evaluation of your Facebook makes it seem that your interactions with Facebook have been influenced by your environment. I also liked hundreds of things in my early high school days, I think it was the "cool" and "funny" thing to do. You took part in this just as you have taken part in the transition of social media of our generation to stray away from Facebook and go more towards twitter and Instagram. This shows high "contact and participation" when observing ethical acculturation. You also had high maintenance of personal values which was seen specifically through your comment that portraying yourself in an appropriate fashion was engrained in you as a child, long before Facebook. Together, this shows that you have an integrated and tightly bound ethical relationship. I was able to recognize this even though you never touched on this and I think that shows that you had a very genuine approach to this assignment.
I overall really liked the flow. I would love to see more images! You had a few but I think the reader could benefit from seeing even more. Also, I would read through your whole post again, there are a few things that sounds a little confusing in its phrasing and a few places that could uses commas, re-wording, etc. Overall, I had no problem reading your posts and staying interested.
Nice job :) Lisa Lyons
Comment #2:
1) Seriousness of purpose: how deeply did the author of the statement assess his or her identity in Facebook relative to the “real him or her;” assess the genuineness of the effort 2) Quality of writing: how well crafted is the statement in terms of style, logical flow, and grammar?
Like many others, you have gone through a transition of how you utilize Facebook over the years. You have explained this in a very coherent way and I appreciate your authenticity in your writing. I think in the sense of seriousness of purpose, whether or not you assessed your identity in Facebook relative to the real you, you did a suburb job. You broke down different aspects of your profile and how they related to your Facebook persona. You did a good job of reflecting upon each aspect of your profile and determining how close the online perception is to the reality of who you are now. You also described the transitions that have occurred over the years and how your dedication to your online perception changed, for better or worse. I think it's written pretty well too. Personable, but not necessarily as thorough as it could be. Because you have broken up your thoughts and analysis into so many sub-paragraphs they each seem a little space and undeveloped. For example, your secondary elements take up a substantial portion of your online persona and even though you said you are very strict in what you allow, there is room for elaboration for such a big topic.
Overall, I enjoyed reading your bio. I think you relate your ideas well but some of them could be further developed and expanded upon, even just a bit, to give a more complete picture of your perception for each of these elements.
Drew Dyer
