Difference between revisions of "Talk:Andrew Sylora"
| Line 15: | Line 15: | ||
- Good likes paragraph | - Good likes paragraph | ||
| − | - Groups paragraph is | + | - Groups paragraph is well written too |
| − | You talk about topics of the lectures and cover many aspects of your profile, which is | + | You talk about topics of the lectures and cover many aspects of your profile, which is wonderful, but could have gone deeper into the self-reflection. |
-Craig Peters | -Craig Peters | ||
Revision as of 15:10, 20 November 2012
Overall I thought your facebook autobiographic analysis was interesting to read, and had these comments/suggestions about it:
- Watch out for spelling/grammar mistakes
- The first paragraph could have more flow. Skips around a lot and feels pinned together
- "Additionally, his profile picture may indicate he is a fan of graffiti and/or urban culture. This seems in contrast with his 73 likes, of which include the MPowered student organization and another unidentifiable group." Why does this contrast? I don't understand.
- The secondary elements you talk about (your profile pic, your liking of Mpowered, your liking of an electronic music producer) are not secondary elements. They are things you control, so they are primary.
- Your “behind the profile” tells us little about who you are. You talk more about how you utilize facebook than what facebook tells us about you. Give us insight, analysis.
- You touch briefly on the fact that most of your photos aren't of you because you don't consider yourself photogenic; you could have gone into analysis of what that means about yourself easily.
- Good likes paragraph
- Groups paragraph is well written too
You talk about topics of the lectures and cover many aspects of your profile, which is wonderful, but could have gone deeper into the self-reflection.
-Craig Peters
