Difference between revisions of "Talk:Alexa Gillman"
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| − | I very much enjoyed reading your article Alexa. You did a great job with dividing your findings in a clear and easy to read way. By focusing on what is collected from you and not only on the information you have provided, you created a solid stance very different from the way I perceived my own data. Although you smoothly connected a reading in your “findings”, I would suggest for you to strengthen the connection between that piece not only in that paragraph, but throughout your final thoughts as well. Further connection between the theme of your essay and the idea from Shoemaker would strengthen the point you are trying to convey. Overall great job! | + | I very much enjoyed reading your article Alexa. You did a great job with dividing your findings in a clear and easy to read way, including appropriate images. By focusing on what is collected from you by others and not only on the information you have decidedly provided, you created a solid stance very different from the way I perceived my own data. Although you smoothly connected a reading in your “findings”, I would suggest for you to strengthen the connection between that piece not only in that paragraph, but throughout your final thoughts as well. Further connection between the theme of your essay and the idea mentioned from Shoemaker would strengthen the point you are trying to convey. Overall great job! |
Latest revision as of 21:17, 19 February 2019
Commenter: Alexa Sonnenblick
Alexa, I think you did a fantastic job on this assignment. It's clear how much effort you put into analyzing all channels where your information can be found, and I thought your writing style spoke to your personality and made your statement a pleasure to read. In your introductory paragraph, I found it really interesting that you found "the concerning part was not the information other individuals could find about me, but the information companies stored about me." Thinking back to my own data identity assignment, I didn't consider the latter. I completely understand why this felt like more of a data breach since it's not information that you voluntarily provided to the companies who stored it. Though I will say, I personally believe that by using online search engines, you're agreeing to forfeit your information to some extent. Even though you don't agree with this intuition, I appreciate that you addressed it where you wrote "although it can be argued that...". Addressing the opposing opinion and explaining why you do not agree with it strengthens your argument—so great job there. In terms of your structure, I really like how you divided your findings into different categories, and in particular, I thought your "who is she?" paragraph was very creative and almost comical; I loved it. Great job!!
Commenter: Joanne Orozco
I very much enjoyed reading your article Alexa. You did a great job with dividing your findings in a clear and easy to read way, including appropriate images. By focusing on what is collected from you by others and not only on the information you have decidedly provided, you created a solid stance very different from the way I perceived my own data. Although you smoothly connected a reading in your “findings”, I would suggest for you to strengthen the connection between that piece not only in that paragraph, but throughout your final thoughts as well. Further connection between the theme of your essay and the idea mentioned from Shoemaker would strengthen the point you are trying to convey. Overall great job!
