Talk:Carol Castro-Adolphus

Hi Carol,

I like your introduction and how you talk about the different possible names that could reveal information about you when searched. This was an interesting first paragraph and made me interested int he rest of the autobiography. Talking about your feelings about the accuracy of information on the data broker report makes the piece more genuine as it allows the reader to see your view and opinion on the amount of information available. Your reflection on past actions, such as uploading your resume with personal information to that website also add a lot to the piece as you think about what you could have done to not have as much information out there. Overall, this is well structured and flows logically. There are no grammar mistakes which allow it to be quite an easy read. I think one area you could improve would be to possibly bring in a reading to back up your ideas that the amount of information available is scary. This will add more evidence and make the writing even stronger.

- Dylan Schwartz

Hi Carol,

I think it is really cool how your online data profile correctly represents you. The way you write is very easy to read and the short paragraphs add to this. In addition, your grammar is very good, I didn't see any mistakes. As I mentioned, the short paragraphs make it easy to read and well formatted. However, I would suggest to move or expand the photos to grab the reader's attention more and possibly have words around the photos to make the page look more whole. I think that you include a lot of thoughtful details that I would have never thought to include in my page. I think it's neat how you and your mom share a name and I am a bit shocked that online does not mix you up more. If possible, mentioning a reading or your view on privacy could benefit the post to make it more centered to the class material. Overall, I love the page!

Elise Whitney