Talk:Alexa Sonnenblick

Sophie Hoffman's comments

Hi Alexa,
Your introduction is very unique and creative, great job with that! In your second paragraph, you do a lot of personal reflection which is an important component of the assignment, but the opening would be a great place to take a stance too, on the implications of your search or your findings. It would even be a good place to introduce a course concept.
The second section (data brokers) does a great job of exploring the implications of the existence of online data brokers. Somewhere in the second paragraph could also be a good place to introduce a course concept to strengthen your argument. The questions in your final paragraph are very interesting and thought provoking. I think it might even be beneficial to explore some of your own thoughts on how to answer them. Overall, your casual tone brings personality to the piece, great job!

Joanne Orozco's comments

Hi Alexa, you did a great job in integrating your personality into this assignment. I very much enjoyed the tone and style. Each section is very well written and separated by what you found and how you felt although, I would recommend adding more relevant images. Your idea of what information makes up a person is intriguing, and I wish you would have gone further into reflecting upon it. You can easily connect a theme from the course to not only improve the quality of your piece, but in a way that could further explain what information really makes up a person. You can either strengthen the connection you have made in the last paragraph or add another, either way would only improve your essay. Despite the few adjustments I recommend you have done a great job in writing a creative and thought provoking piece.

Molly Bis's comments

Alexa Sonnenblick wrote about her data identity and the information she found through her online footprint investigation. I believe there was a seriousness of purpose in her writing that has shown through in her initial draft. She carefully details her experience conducting a Google search of her name and investigating her data broker report.

The quality of writing is good and she has clearly put in time and effort into her search as well as the construction of her post. She brings up a very interesting point about how the data brokers are suggesting something about her worth based on the number of sex offenders live near her.

To make this piece stronger, I would suggest to either include maybe one more type of online search on her identity or to flesh out the data broker information report about her a little bit more. Alexa talked a lot about the ethical shortcomings of checkmate, but I would like to hear more about how this search made her feel and how maybe this will impact how she interacts with technology in the future. I think all of this can be lumped into your conclusion statement, which is good but could be much stronger and have a more lasting impact on the reader if additional information is added. Overall, great job!