Talk:Daniel Grossman

I really like how you went about your research on your identity, in a systematic and methodic manner; using such a broad range of tools to pool your data from. You mention that you used multiple search engines including Bing and DuckDuckGo and not just the staples such as Google and Yahoo. It might be worth describing if there was any differences in your searches and whether the data that each search engine returned was noticeably different or similar.You explain the results of your Facebook ad profile with an appropriate analysis; I believe the only thing that might enhance that section could be a screenshot of your ad profile, so as to add a visual dimension to that part of your page. The fact that you use such a broad number of tools and analyze all of its data portrays the depth and authenticity of your research, which is highly commendable. I think the only thing that feels missing is a strong narrative, something beyond just numbers and the analysis of numbers. The kind of questions you could ask yourself to that finding a narrative could be whether the results matched your expectations or whether you were surprised by them - basically the overall effect the exercise had on you, given your mindset going into it. I think this will tie up your piece very well and give it another layer of meaning. Besides this, there are a couple of places where there are grammatical issues such as in the very first paragraph, but they are not major and will be quick fixes.

Comment by : Advait Shroff (advaitsh)

Comments by Emma Huez

Great job! I agree with the comment above. Your page is very well organized and the sections and subsections allow for a smooth read. I think you make a great use of evidence and you seem to have explored many different aspects of your online persona. I especially found it great that you used Facebook ad settings and came up with some unique arguments. I think that the the amount of evidence you have works in many ways but also holds back your writing. I would suggest coming to more original conclusions about the information you have located. I would like to hear your voice more through your writing. How accurate are these facts about you? Where could this information be coming from? How does it make you feel? I think the data brokers section needs to be clarified just a little more. An additional suggestion I have is explaining the first quote you have from Floridi. I really liked the conclusion and I thought that was the strongest part of your analysis. Maybe expand the conclusion some more! Overall, great job!