Talk:Flannery O'Donnell

Katie Forrest's Review of Flannery O'Donnell's MediaWiki First Draft:

Your introduction is well written and to the point. I especially like your last paragraph because it sets up the rest of your MediaWiki well. However, I would suggest that you add some introductory sentences as well, because as I began reading I was unsure what the purpose of those first few paragraphs until I got to the end.

Your second paragraph is a good transition from the first.

In your third paragraph, you articulate the idea of if your online identity matches your offline identity. I think that you do a good job exploring this, but you might want to add some introspection here. In my opinion, it would be helpful if you focused a bit more on what information you are putting out there in order to help the reader understand what kind of media identity you are portraying through your tweets and Instagram posts. In your writing, you say that you represent your offline-self online, but I am left wondering, how? Do you have pictures of your friends and family online, or your pets, or where you traveled? Who does that make others think you are? Going deeper into what the online you actually looks like would benefit your writing.

In your final paragraph you sort of delve into the above comment, but again mention that you represent yourself authentically but do not give support (which you could do by describing what content you are putting on each platform).

Overall, I understood the general message in your MediaWiki and liked how you focused on the interests generated by different media sites. However, my final thoughts would be that you might want to tie together your section about privacy with the other sections, and that you should give more examples to help the reader better envision who you are online and what your profile looks like specifically. Your sources all tie in with your writing well, but I think there is a different way to cite them on Media Wiki that you should look into. I would also recommend moving your pictures to a more appropriate section of the page, perhaps integrating them into your writing.

I really liked your piece and enjoyed learning about what you got out of the assignment.