Talk:Michael stuart\godelEscher

From SI410
Revision as of 22:48, 19 November 2012 by Asylora (Talk | contribs) (Created page with "'''Michael Stuart''': I felt the need to offer my commentary on this entry as it is by far the most avant-garde and unique ways of presenting a (lack of a) Facebook profile or...")

(diff) ← Older revision | Latest revision (diff) | Newer revision → (diff)
Jump to: navigation, search

Michael Stuart: I felt the need to offer my commentary on this entry as it is by far the most avant-garde and unique ways of presenting a (lack of a) Facebook profile or electronic identity I have seen. It seems as if the actual content of the entry is not the focus, but the overarching theme and presentation that most clearly defines who you are as a person and what you hope others see in you. I particularly was captivated by the duality expressed throughout, from the opening (“Everything that follows is true, everything that came before is a lie”) to the variety of pictures depicting the inner and outer workings of various environments and people, even to the themes of denying what has occurred in your past. Your desires to remain in this “inter-dimension” between the online and offline worlds really spoke throughout your entry, and I applaud you for taking such an authentic and novel approach to the assignment at hand.

I will not mince my words and say that there are particular phrases you chose to use that are disconcerting out of context (“But it not a joke I have no friends”). The writing style, while suitable for this method of presentation, lends itself to feel much more disconcerting and disconnected that I think you would have liked to come across judging via your content (“The truth is I wish I could join you”). Whether this was intentional on your part is something I cannot discern, however, I believe that using a first-person context to do something other than put yourself down through the reader's eyes would allow you to give your personality due credit while letting the reader get to know a bit more about your substantive self. Logically however, the presentation flowed well and I think it required a different approach to really appreciate, of which I enjoyed very much.

-Andrew Sylora