Talk:Brian Mansfield

Hi Brian,

To start off, I really liked the fact that you included your personal background information at the beginning. At first I was a little confused about the distinction you were trying to draw between “self-portrait” and physical appearance, but after reading about how you are your brother were adopted, I understood more about the idea you were trying to convey. To my knowledge, a lot of people think of the word self-portrait more literal, where its definition is quite similar to that of physical appearance. I could be wrong, but I think your point was that your social identity does not coincide with your physical appearance. Even though you are of Asian heritage, because you were adopted and raised by Caucasian parents you identify yourself more closely with the Caucasian American culture. So I think the first part of your reflection would be better if you clarified a little bit more. You gave very detailed and thoughtful description of your avatar-construction process. Maybe consider integrating the technical process of building your avatar with your background information. From the way you structured your writing, the two parts almost seemed like separate entities.

I liked your chosen personality for your fantasy avatar, it’s very interesting. However, I understand the focus of your reflection was on your “personal portrait” avatar, but there was too little information about the construction process of your fantasy avatar. It’s very cool how you modeled the avatar’s look after Russel Crowe’s character in A Beautiful Mind, but you didn’t really explain much why you chose him, besides the fact that he’s brilliant like your avatar. Also, I know you cited the movie in the reference section, but it'd helpful to have a footnote linked to it. Overall, you did a good job.

--B Humphrey 02:54, 12 November 2011 (EST)