Difference between revisions of "Talk:Samara Gould"
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| − | Sanika Babtiwale | + | Sanika Babtiwale: I thought your introduction was a clear and concise way to start your autobiography. Your voice was noticeable, especially when you wrote "excuse me, 'timeline'", which made the section more appealing. I think you could introduce your main idea earlier so the reader is not surprised by your other sections. In addition, I think you can expand on your section about LinkedIn. I feel you could discuss why LinkedIn is a source that can be easily used for browsing over creating. Furthermore, I believe you could compare your consumption on LinkedIn with that on Instagram and describe which one appeals to you more. I also suggest having a conclusion section, so you could wrap up your thoughts about your online identity. I feel your paragraph starting with "this is where…" is definitely a starting point for your ending. Finally, I think you could reference some readings to strengthen your piece. |
Revision as of 20:53, 19 February 2018
Sanika Babtiwale: I thought your introduction was a clear and concise way to start your autobiography. Your voice was noticeable, especially when you wrote "excuse me, 'timeline'", which made the section more appealing. I think you could introduce your main idea earlier so the reader is not surprised by your other sections. In addition, I think you can expand on your section about LinkedIn. I feel you could discuss why LinkedIn is a source that can be easily used for browsing over creating. Furthermore, I believe you could compare your consumption on LinkedIn with that on Instagram and describe which one appeals to you more. I also suggest having a conclusion section, so you could wrap up your thoughts about your online identity. I feel your paragraph starting with "this is where…" is definitely a starting point for your ending. Finally, I think you could reference some readings to strengthen your piece.
