Difference between revisions of "Talk:Aaron Fogle"

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(→‎Second Comment- Gabrielle Carels)
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Aaron, I really liked how you started your autobiography with a comparison between Facebook and an appendage on your body. I felt like that comparison rings true for so many people on Facebook, whether or not they are willing to admit it. Through your introduction I can easily determine what personality you are trying to achieve through your Facebook profile. I also really liked how you analogized somebody viewing your page to the first impression you get from a cover of a book.  These days, when so much of each person is made up of their online personality, how and what their Facebook contains contributes so much to how that person is judged in person. It’s very interesting that you chose to use the photos feature of Facebook to archive your personal life history, even including your first Halloween. There are so many people that I know who do the exact opposite and try to hide pictures from high school that are too old or that they find embarrassing or unflattering. I really respect that you make it a priority for your ethnical values to come through your Facebook profile and for it to give a realistic and honest portrayal of who you are.
 
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Overall your writing is eloquent and very polished with very minor grammatical mistakes.  You analyzed your own Facebook online identity openly and honestly and wrote it in such a way that it flows logically. The pictures that you chose worked well and highlighted points in your writing. It was very interesting reading your autobiography because there were some points that I disagree with, such as your views on Facebook messaging, which is one of the main reasons why I personally use Facebook, but there were even more points that I agreed with, and the way you phrased your opinions made me see things in ways that I never did before.
 

Revision as of 21:01, 21 November 2012

First Comment - Pavel Borisov

Content

I'm impressed by how forward you are with your page and your facebook profile, especially with the admission that you're trying to portray a certain image.

Style

The writing doesn't click too well with me for a number reasons, the first being that the use use of formatting and media on this page is throwing it off. One example of this is the included image captioned "My profile viewed from a stranger's point of view". It doesn't need to be as large as it is right now, and should be a thumbnail or smaller size instead, ideally included in an identity template. Right now it squashes text into an inconvenient column on any browser window less than 3/4 of my 1680 x 1050 display. The facebook chat screencap is less disruptive and actually fits very nicely into the section it's in. My main problem with it is that its current combination of size and caption does not clearly illustrate what is going on without a clickthrough. This could be remedied by briefly describing what keeping the facebook chat off reflects about you. I know this might be redundant, but it would allow you to keep the current image proportions and neat arrangement without disrupting.

The second issue is that the writing style was a little long-winded. However, even if the flow as slow, it was mostly smooth and unbroken. Although there are breaks are at the start of the Photo Albums section and at the start of the Social Participation and Influence section, these are handled by titles so it doesn't jar me too much.

Second Comment- Gabrielle Carels

To come soon

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