Difference between revisions of "Talk:Alex Allen"
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'''-L Andrews''' | '''-L Andrews''' | ||
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| + | You did an excellent job with this essay. It is well thought out and has thoughtful commentary on the difficulty of accurately representing one's self in a limited environment and when an accurate representation is not the most aesthetically pleasing one. The study you cited is incredibly interesting, and gives insight into issues that many have had with the process. I can't help but wonder, however, if your first attempt at fulfilling an assignment that specifically calls for as accurate a representation of one's self as possible resulted in a virtual GQ cover model. | ||
| + | Your reflections incorporated introspection to a reasonable extent, nothing came across as fabricated or overly stilted. While there was no direct comment on gender/racial/cultural identity, there was a comment on the lack of comment. Permit me to say that you had no issues with that because you are a white male. | ||
| + | The actual construction process was well-documented and informative. Good job. | ||
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| + | '''-W Dale''' | ||
Revision as of 18:55, 14 November 2011
Great essay! Your essay was one of the more coherent, well-written and grammatically correct posts on this site.
1) Source: Very good job on the source. You tied in the "idealizing" and of one's self well and the need to "stand out" into your own process of creating an avatar nicely. I feel like this source has a lot of good points, so instead of limiting its information to one or two paragraph you could have easily spread out its arguments throughout your paper and delve into its research.
2) Argument: Your introduction was an excellent grounding basis for your entire essay, as you really went to the heart of the entire avatar essay: how does the use of avatars and its representation of its users change how people interact in virtual environments? My only suggestion for improvement would be to tie this introduction back in the conclusion so that the importance of the avatar is stressed again at the end.
3) Avatar Construction: You explained the process of creating an avatar very well, and I could easily sense the frustration and interest you had with the software. It was interesting to read about how you used two different methods in creating a realistic avatar, particularly about how your first attempt was too idealistic and attractive to represent you. I wish you delved more into the differences between your two attempts and discussed more on why you related more to your second attempt.
-L Andrews
You did an excellent job with this essay. It is well thought out and has thoughtful commentary on the difficulty of accurately representing one's self in a limited environment and when an accurate representation is not the most aesthetically pleasing one. The study you cited is incredibly interesting, and gives insight into issues that many have had with the process. I can't help but wonder, however, if your first attempt at fulfilling an assignment that specifically calls for as accurate a representation of one's self as possible resulted in a virtual GQ cover model.
Your reflections incorporated introspection to a reasonable extent, nothing came across as fabricated or overly stilted. While there was no direct comment on gender/racial/cultural identity, there was a comment on the lack of comment. Permit me to say that you had no issues with that because you are a white male.
The actual construction process was well-documented and informative. Good job.
-W Dale
