Talk:Papers, Please
“Papers, Please” Feedback by Tae Hong Ahn
Length You have around 2000 words out of the 3000 word requirement. I would recommend adding more to the reception section you have with reviews that express some kind of ethical concern about the game if any exist. Worst case, you could try to include a few more details into some of your sections.
Structure Your article has a lead paragraph that summarizes the basic details and of the video game without going into too much detail. However as mentioned in class, a short explanation of why the topic is notable or worth thinking about could be an addition you could make into your lead paragraph. The way you separated your sections makes sense and is well organized. It starts off with a brief synopsis of the game with details that cannot be found in the lead paragraph. It is immediately followed by the gameplay section that goes into the essential details of the game using various subsections. While not necessary, I would recommend adding more pictures to some of the subsections to potentially help the reader get a better understanding of how the game portrays the details you include in your article. You then provide a brief overview of the game’s reception by critics and the public before moving on to your Ethical Concerns section. In my opinion, your last section felt a little more like an essay rather than a wiki article. While I can see your effort in using objective statements, I can see a few subtle instances of personal opinion, specifically in the Conformity and Consequentialism subsections. In the other three subsections, you explain how certain aspects of the game provoke certain ethical concerns, but you do not mention the importance of such concerns. As an article about an indie game, I understand the difficulty of finding reliable sources to back up, but you did a great job in finding useful sources for your article. I like how you included sources about the general concepts of the relationship between ethics and video games to back up your Ethical Concerns section about the game.
Clarity I believe I readers will have an understanding of the issue at stake in your article by reading your Ethical Concerns section. You attempt to link the theme and properties of the game to real life ethical issues by using sources that provide insight on the link between video games and ethics. However, you do not go deep enough on emphasizing the importance of the ethical issues on the Violence and Terrorism, Immigration Issues, and Nudity subsections.
Objective Reporting You do a great job in maintaining a neutral point of view throughout your article. However, I felt a slight deviation from the neutral point of view in your Ethical Concerns section. I would look up similar Wikipedia articles with similar sections to see their phrasing and try to apply it to your own sections. Looking for more sources that provide deeper insight into the ethical concerns would also help.
Overall, I think your article was well organized and well written. With a few changes and additions, I believe your article will turn out to be a great wiki article.
