Talk:Mackenzie Cole

Hi Mackenzie!

I really enjoyed reading your data identity statement. I felt I could relate to a lot of things you mentioned. For example, I too feel like my data identity is very surface-leveled and that this partly has to do with the way I present myself online. I thought the “Common Name Anonymity” was a very unique way of describing the concept of having common names online. Maybe you should elaborate this more since I felt the topic is very interesting and could use a little bit more explanation. Giving specific examples this concept is might allow for readers to really understand what you are talking about. I felt your essay allowed me to understand clearly who you are online but a few images of your searches might help solidify this. I think you got the personal experiences down however, maybe you should add a few ideas we talked about in class or in the readings to enhance your arguments. The way your broke down your paragraphs was helpful to read through and I thought your titles were very clever! Overall, I would just work on adding more to your argument through examples, class references, and images.

Best, Shriya Bajagur

Hey there, Mackenzie. Your data identity profile was interesting and certainly relatable. I love the way you added little injections of your voice through personal experiences or just general word choice! Your voice really made the read sound like a conversation... that being said, I think you could work on the flow of your profile. The sentence length didn't vary much within individual paragraphs (especially the hook), so some parts sounded choppy even when they had a lot of character. I also think you could have a part expanding on social media. Your conclusion is mainly about things that aren't addressed in your search for yourself, so to aide the structure of your profile, I think you should talk about it before leaving your reader on that note. Also, a couple images wouldn't hurt to break up the blocks of text. That being said, you have a great base to work with here! Again, the personal bits of information and side comments were very strong, so more flow and content would be nice to see. -Tony Wang

Comment From Alexa Rathi

Hi Mackenzie, this was an amazing read! I loved your anecdote about how your parents stopped you from using Facebook from a young age and thought that that entire paragraph was a great read. I enjoyed how you separated the paragraphs and thought the page was extremely cohesive.

One thing that I would love to see is what exact search queries led you to find the information. Which sites did you use? Which search engines did you use?

While you have made it clear that you are responsible for the reason that you are not on the internet, part of the assignment was to create a “data identity statement”. This means chiming in your personal opinions and going into a deeper dive about the situation. Would you like more information to be shared about you and if so how would you like do it? How does this make you feel about your online identity versus your real personal identity? These are just some of the types of questions I would love to hear your opinion on, and will make your page much more strong!