Talk:Kavya Pratapa

Hi Kavya,

Overall, it was a good read with good organization and picture usage.

Your hook was good as deciding to shorten your name to Kavya has more consequences than just easier to pronounce for people. I would delete "In the rest of this essay" because it feels too clunky and I feel you could tie in that sentence better with the above paragraph.

It might be better to make subsections for your "Google Identity" for the differing results you get with your shortened and full name. "Self via Google" was a good way to close the section and to connect to Floridi, but it felt a bit wordy.

I don't think you need to talk about Instant Checkmate's reporting of sex offenders to discuss who you are because they don't have anything to do with you. Change the title of "My online self" to what you bolded in the paragraph. Simplify the text before that question to bring up Haimson and Hoffman sooner.

Spheres of Identity was an excellent conversation to close your essay with. The sphere concept fits really well as none of us are really aware of how much we live our lives in spheres that may or may not be readily visible to us. I would rework the sentence "Our close friends.." or remove it because I feel you've already covered the concept in the previous paragraph.

Best,

Tim Michowski

James Li's Comment:

Hi Kavya,

your data identity draft is pleasant to read and informative. You have a unique experience with your name, so it was interesting to read about how your 2 "names" had different results, and interacted.

I think that in your introduction, you can leave off the last section about the rest of your essay, and instead, you can try to lead readers with an idea of where the rest of your statement will go.

In your "My 'Google' Identity" section, I think you should change the alignment of your pictures, as right now, it is a bit of an awkward read, with the words squeezed in between the two images. For the content, you can elaborate more on searching with your abbreviated name, and on the social media that you found; you can describe what that reveals, or what side of you that shows. I enjoyed your nice concluding paragraph in "Self via Google" as well.'

I think that you should break up your "My Instant Checkmate Identity" into 2 sections, as you seem to merge both your conclusion and your data brokers report together. Your data broker's sections was well written, but I think you can end the first section before the next header, and end with a more broad topic than how Instant Checkmate works with sex offenders. Then, for the second section, you had some very nice analysis that showed your writers voice. I think you should add a caption to your image, but other than that, if you polish the flow a little bit, there isn't much I think you should change for your conclusion.

- James Li

Ben Rogers' Comment

You, unlike myself, have a unique name that seemed to pull results. Overall, this was engaging, and I enjoyed reading through the material you presented. Your data broker information seemed to have subsections that I did not have, such as Education. I think it would be interesting if you broke the "My Instant Checkmate Identity" portion up, by possibility correct vs incorrect information, or based off subtitles within the report (education, addresses, etc.).

I'm unsure if it is necessary to have an introduction about the author's whom work you cited, but I think an introduction to the author's would be helpful for people who do not have the class readings handy.

In the last sentence of the first paragraph of "My online self- Instant Checkmate & Google" it may be helpful to include a sentence on what you would expect if social media was included- how this data would have looked and what it would have meant to your privacy.

Add a caption to the venn diagram picture. I believe the spheres portion is really interesting, and this analysis could be really insightful if expanded upon.