Talk:App Store (ios)

jacktuck

Length

The length of your article is less than 3000 words, however that is to be expected for this first draft. It looks like you need around 800 more words to reach the required length, but I see some places that you can elaborate on that would add more detail. Your introductory paragraph about the App Store could include some more background information as well as a longer introduction to the controversies that Apple has faced, as there have been multiple.

Structure

I like how you broke down your article into multiple sections and subsections. I think you could definitely add some more details and examples to these sections, but I’m sure that will come in the final submission. Your article overall includes the 3 basic components of a good article. You also do a good job of backing up your facts with relevant and reliable sources. I thought in your “Ethical Issues” section you could have broken it down even further with the different examples/times that the App Store has faced controversy. Additionally, adding hyperlinks to key words, people, and companies could improve the article as well as add context for the reader and allow them to see who or what you are referring to. Your references are really well chosen as some are from Apple itself which is a good. However, I felt you could have a done a better job citing where you got your information from especially in the Economics section. There are a lot of facts stated in that section and I was not quite sure where you were getting them from at some points.

Clarity

The issue at stake is clear to me based on your writing so far. I do understand the ethical concerns and why they are important, however I feel there definitely can be more detail and examples added in this section for the final version. Adding a longer introduction into some of the issues Apple has faced regarding the App Store would also make the article more clear.

Objective Reporting

You did a great job of writing with a neutral point of view and not letting any bias come into your writing. In your ethical issues section, it could be beneficial to include some first person accounts from game developers who use the app store. Including some direct quotes and stories from developers and/or customers who have encountered these issues. I think it would also be interesting to see what Apple's responses have been from these controversies and lawsuits. If Apple released any statements or comments on the controversial actions that they were being accused of. I think this could really add some more detail and context to the article for readers to get a better idea of how Apple feels about the accusations.